I think there is not a phrase in the world my children dread hearing more than, “I need to talk to you” (which shows the relatively sheltered life my children have led–I can think of many worse things to hear!) While that may make it seem that talking to me is full of rage or harshness, I don’t think that is the case. Their perspective is simply that mom wanting to talk to them (when announced in that way) must mean they’ve done something wrong, and none of us likes to be told that we’ve done wrong.
One of the main purposes of life is to learn, however, which implies that we don’t know everything from the start and we won’t perform flawlessly even when we do know. We are continually trying, making mistakes, growing and learning and trying again. So, what if invitations to “talk to mom” (whatever form that takes in our changing lives) and receive instruction were seen as opportunities for learning and growth? Not as shameful or guilt-filled experiences, but as positive steps to change? That view takes meekness and humility, and a proper perception of the greater knowledge and higher way of living being offered.
In Alma 37:9, Alma teaches his son Helaman that the words of the scriptures and the righteous missionaries sent to the Lamanites, “brought them unto repentance…” Repentance is an action we take when we have come to understand that we are wrong and we need to turn back to God (who is right.) He then clarifies what he means by repentance with this illuminating thought, “…that is, they brought them to the knowledge of the Lord their God, and to rejoice in Jesus Christ their Redeemer” (emphasis added.) How much would our experiences in “talking to mom” change when we saw them as appeals to increase our knowledge of the Lord and to celebrate the blessings afforded us through Him to erase the wrong, to change, and to become more like He is! Invitations to repent are invitations to rejoice that we can! Every instance of having our wrong corrected could be an encouraging and hopeful proposition to turn around from the misguided path which will lead us away from Him with this context.
It is Satan, who is the enemy to Christ and opposes Him in all things that entices us to feel either prideful and defensive (“I’m not wrong!” “How dare he point out my faults when he is so wrong as well!”) or despondent and discouraged (“I’ll never be good enough” or “I may as well give up. I can’t change”) in these times of correction. He would keep us from the joy and freedom of repentance with these attitudes. Sometimes imperfect parents correct imperfectly and sometimes mean-spirited people in our lives are simply unnecessarily critical, and there is no need to heed those voices. But Christ’s motive is always love and our best good, proven in His life and ministry and freely offered atonement. His message is of hope and healing and freedom from sin and weakness that bind us to wrong behavior and its eternal consequences. As President Nelson said, repentance is “liberating,…ennobling…[and] crucial to our individual progression….” “It is the key to happiness and peace of mind. When coupled with faith, repentance opens our access to the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” (“We Can Do Better and Be Better,” Gen Conf., April 2019)
So the next time we are invited to “talk to mom,” or the Spirit whispers that our actions were not well done, or we feel admonished in a talk, we can rejoice! We are being led on an upward journey; difficult at times, but designed for our progress and happiness–opportunities that are not dreadful, but hopeful.
